Johan

Johan=== Johan ==

Johan (Also known a Sir John because god forbid this be simple) is both a squire and a page at the exact same time, somehow, despite those things being mutually exclusive.

He has a lesbian hair cut and runs around in a skirt and tights all day like a manly man. He also has an extraordinarily large forehead.

Being an extra bitch
Johan has no idea how to open a door. He doesn't even know what a door ''is. ''He spends all his time leaping through windows and making dramatic entrances, even when it's less convenient.

He also had no idea buildings could be abandoned.

And he shot someone in the ass.

Boyfriends
Johan has had several blonde boyfriends throughout the series. Blondes have bigger feet and bigger feet means a bigger ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Umbrian, his first boyfriend, is a little blonde bitch who has a triangle mouth, wears a dress, and sits on the floor. He and Johan look nearly identical. He is an exposition machine.

Sir Hugh, his second boyfriend, is a worryingly tall blonde bitch who comes crying to Johan for everything. They change clothes in front of each other.

Life Partner
Johan's final boyfriend is a stupid lucid gnome named Peewit. He and Johan are gay and soulmates and they grow old together. Johan usually deals with Peewit's nasty, desperate ass.

The Glory Days
Did you know that Johan was originally a curly haired blonde bitch? No? I don’t blame you.

Comics were actually published of this rendition. It gets more flack than it should, it’s really not that bad of a design, though the final design was better.

Peyo presumably changed the design because this one somehow made Johan look even more like a woman.

Trivia

 * Parts of Johan's clothes will often disappear randomly, usually his pants. What a weirdo.
 * He was originally blonde like all of his boyfriends
 * His voice actor is Michael Bell, the guy you had no idea voiced half your childhood
 * -|Gallery=